Ow it hurts

They say... writing is like exercise. One has to do it every day or most days to be effective.  But after a long "holiday" or illness, stretching those muscles again can be quite painful.

After a few brilliant sunny days in Oslo and Stockholm, I'm back to dreary cloudy weather in Basel. When we landed on Sunday, the sun was out and it was warm and I could feel all the positive things and really was looking forward to summer. It seems to have dropped straight back into fall. Today, as my cold and aches and pains don't want to leave me, it hurts to walk it hurts to read it hurts to write.

I'll play my guitar later, that will soothe the beast a bit. Go window shopping. Find those last ingredients for tonight's supper. Maybe book tickets to a movie. Depending on how hubby feels. Which reminds me... we were supposed to touch base over lunch time... oops!

I do tend to take more time and, well, taking care of yourself is not an excuse! I want to read and reflect and rest when my body and my mind hurts like this. I can't think clearly nor do I want to.

Here are my five things I am grateful for today:
1. Peace and freedom to do what ever I want today
2. That I am healthy enough.
3. I am aware of where I am in the world and grateful to be alive
4. my husband
5. I am in control of my life and my emotions and all that I let in

So throw away the blah-ness of the day and let the sunshine in! Happy Weekend everybody!

It is what it is

Someone said to me this morning, "Do something fun!"

In my weary sleepy head at 7:15 am, I could not think of anything fun. "Play your guitar!" Good idea! That is fun, well, at least for 30 minutes before my hands get tired. What else is fun for me? Reading and tea. Playing Pictionary or Boogle or other word games. Doing anything that doesn't feel painful in my body.

I don't take pain very well. I like writing, it's not painful. Sure at the moment I do feel a bit stagnated and not growing in this direction (although some would say I am growing in other directions ;)) And lack of growth can be painful too. Often I find myself "busy" with things I am not sure is the right thing to be busy with, as it is taking me away from the main attraction, i.e. re-invention.

There are tiny little cups of dirt and seedlings inside, slowly pushing their little green leaves out there for the world to see. Get sunlight little green friends, grow! I love Spring with all it's growth. So exciting! I forgot what I planted so it will be a bit of a mystery. I want to get more of these little cups of dirt / miniature green houses. They are so NOT messy. I like that, clean gardening is the best.

Gardening is hard work - but it is a good pain. I know it will "bear fruit". Maybe my attitude about my pain - physical and mental - needs a bit of a shift. I am learning, whether I like it or not. Maybe it is a risk but perhaps I can reach out to people and make my community grow, just like I let my garden grow.

Once upon a time, I did like jogging and playing frisbee and generally doing stuff outside. I miss that. I want to get back up to that point again. Can I do it? Do I have my mind set on it? Therein lies the problem. The wishy washyness of it all.

So, what is it that I have my mind set on? Woe is me? That's not cool. It is what it is, but I think I could have a different mind set. I have a lot to be grateful for. Disregard the scary nightmares of death and dismemberment. They come when there is fear. Banish fear now and forever.

I have to remind myself everyday, that I am worth it. What ever it is, I am in the right place at the right time and I have to believe that there is a plan for me, and I just have to bring myself to the table every day. Faith. I have nothing to fear, because I am handpicked and very precious.

First thunderstorm

I've been off-kilter of late: some late nights, not enough sleep, coughing, spluttering, sore throating, mood swings, etc. So, it's understandable why I felt emotionally drained today after a fantastic morning of networking and community building. There's a light at the end of the tunnel and yes, I finally feel the hope.

I came home and had to take a nap after a light lunch. I woke up to the sound of thunder. The hills were rolling with them. It's early for thunderstorms, I think, but perhaps the conditions are just right: warm and cold at the same time. Who knows we might even get some hail.

I love crazy weather like this, unpredictable and phenomenal. It's nature. There are even patches of blue sky in the midst of the darkest grey. It feels good to be alive. Everything is in the moment, the flash of lighting preceded by the charges ground to sky. It's atoms bursting with anticipation, in a vacuum of silence, and then, in microseconds gigawatts of energy fly through the air.

Things are slowly feeling like they are moving in a direction I want to be. I am so glad to have the capacity to now say no to things that don't serve me. Things do always have a way of working out. Whether it's prayer, faith or just pure love from the soul of the universe   I don't care. I am ever so grateful for this love, "a lesson learned, a loving god, and things in their own time, in nothing more do I trust".

There's a tapestry somewhere being woven, the threads all tie together and build the greatest story there ever was. I feel and see it in my mind's eyes: its linen, its soft velvety lines, its colourful richness dancing like fireworks on the back of my retina. There are no answers only the questions of a child and an immense sense of gratitude of how things turned out. The story isn't over. My love won't let me down.

Eighteen days until Oslo, I can't wait. I get to experience the greatest show on earth in the greatest country on earth, with some 18,000 other fans. It will be another revival and massive party, and I'll feel rejuvenated and healed baptised in those waters.

Until next week: be true. Love thyself and thy neighbour. Love all serve all.

My choice today

I woke up this morning still feeling appalled and aghast at the audacity of a work colleague of mine. Suffice to say, I was discouraged and de-motivated to go into the office, I had schemes of sabotage running around in my head, making me spin with anger.

But I am better than that. I choose to excel, not to compete.

I realised that this individual's behaviour is typical of a bully. What do you do with bullies? You show them what love can do. You show them their behaviour is not acceptable. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it stinks. But the trick is, one cannot be drawn down to their level. This individual is clearly in a lot of pain and suffering for some reason and lashes out.

Can you change a bully? No, just as you cannot change a leopard's spots. I know I am a good writer, I inspire many. I know I am a good leader, I have led teams through significant change. However, I cannot manage someone who does not want to be led. Who consistently and seemingly purposely ignores the rules of engagement. Who chooses to pick only those rules that suit. Who blatantly ignores processes many hold dear. Who is selfish, arrogant and manipulative.

I am clearly disappointed in this individual's behaviour. I cannot let one bad seed (or the so-called 2%) ruin the whole crop. I have a responsibility to 'correct' but to do it gently, with honor and grace.

I have a responsibility to the whole. I will turn my attention to them and, today, I choose to ignore the bully. When I am calmer, I shall respond with a clear mind.

Breathe in... breathe out...I know what will restore my faith. Rock 'n' Roll!!

Life is full of wonder

“They deem me mad because I will not sell my days for gold; and I deem them mad because they think my days have a price.” - Kahlil Gibran 

"They feed you on the guilt / To keep you humble keep you low / Some man and myth they made up / A thousand years ago " - Melissa Etheridge, Silent Legacy

Recently, a colleague of mine asked if I was planning to go "back to work". It's not a strange question, as she doesn't know my story really. I do a lot of unpaid work with this retired colleague, so she's many years ahead of me in that respect. I took her question at face value and said, simply my truth: I am working. I am just not being paid for it. 

Do our days have a price? Banish all thoughts of morality, duty, consequence particularly the religious overtones. Fundamentally speaking, then, no. Our days do not have a price. We are to be what we are to be. Enjoy life. Think beautiful thoughts. You can still work hard, but don't take it so seriously - there is no price you pay. Your only compass is your own conscience, which is tempered by the culture in which you were brought up in.

You choose to live by choice, not chance. Choose to make changes, not excuses. Choose to be motivated, not manipulated, to be useful, not used; to excel, not to compete. I won't give in to the restless pull of the "price you pay", I will walk away. 

I choose self-esteem, not self-pity. I choose to listen to the beautiful thoughts, not the random opinion of others. I choose to stop worrying, take action, and keep the fire going. At least I'm trying, at least I have enthusiasm and I enjoy what I do, whether I'm paid for it or not. I am a rebel thriver. 

My beautiful thoughts for today (sorry, Springsteen or Etheridge lyrics again):

"It ain't no sin to be glad you're alive"
"And the wonder, let the wonder never cease"
"Life is full of wonder, love is never wrong"
"But just across the county line, a stranger passing through put up a sign / that counts the men fallen away to the price you pay / girl before the end of the day / I'm gonna tear it down and throw it away" - Thank you, Bruce for doing just that for 40+ years.

10 minutes to write

Blank slates are intimidating. Whether they are white or black, the emptiness is breath-taking as one takes the first few baby steps onto the surface. One tries not to look back at the mistakes made even in those first few steps, are they really that crucial? No, one must steady on.

So much so many demands come on to each of us every day. That's why it is so important to stay true to yourself and stick to your guns: your priorities come first. Then once you've taken care of what you need to do, you can help others. Yesterday, deciding between my German and my cooking and my exercise and my volunteering duties, I went with exercise and listening to music.

I needed to blow off some doors, I needed to not have to fit in. It was getting to be too much: all these demands on my time, when I couldn't even hear myself think. I have to manage my time much better or I will lose it. Sustainable efforts are much better than losing it.

I managed the cooking though, I am so glad not to have another 'student' eat-out or pasta night. Dinner only took 30 minutes including chopping! I'll definitely make that again. Turkish lamb pilau. Fantastic, next time I add a bit more cinnamon or other-worldly spices.

One more minute and the slate is no longer blank. I enjoyed my time and will have to do this more often. It's not so scary. I will write that scene with Bruce and Catherine later, it's still bugging me.

Happy International Women's Day!

[word count 267]

Law of diminishing returns

Two themes are running around my head this morning - everything is temporary and the law of diminishing returns.

In management, "we" always say one could cope with a deluge because we know it's temporary - a 24-hour journalistic piece, an event in two weeks' time, a 3-month paternity leave. The horror will end, and life goes on. We take time off to heal and refill our cup. Even that is temporary.

In comparison, one also understands the amount of effort one puts in at the beginning cannot be sustained for the long term. Indeed, a big effort at the beginning is expected to have the most impact, whereas "too much too late" is wasteful and often leaves us drained and disappointed.

There has to be a balance - of pressure and steady on routine. As you can guess, the routine is *boring* to those who think they thrive off of temporary floods, but it is the routine work what pays the bills, keeps us fit and is what actually builds legacy. One can accomplish a lot in 2 years if one has one hand steady on the wheel.

There's a saying about fishermen, from Vincent Van Gogh, the most genius of all artists.

"The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reasons for remaining ashore."

And furthermore, from unknown:

"Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than one can see".

So, I am a writer for social change. I will not have a "manifesto": I will live my days as my testimony. I testify, I will go farther than I can see and the dangers are not sufficient reasons to stay in my comfort zone.

Remember this, is how it should be.

Monday is the new Friday?!

Apologies I missed writing on Friday. What a crazy week it was last week.

But I can't lose heart - I can't give up because of one nutter. The world is bigger than her and those like her - rich bitches who don't care about anyone else other than promoting themselves. "Oh look what I did! Look how charitable I was! Isn't it great!"

Idiot. She can't really conceive that the community does not revolve around her. Not everyone wants to hear your crap, D.B. I choose to ignore you, thank you very much.

My favorite uplifting song came up on the random music generator. "Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House. That song and "Trapped" (Jimmy Cliff/Bruce Springsteen) were my songs during my teenage years.

I have faith that people like D.B. won't win in the long run. I believe in the underdog and protecting those who do not have a voice. I believe I have been protected and will continue to be... I was meant for something bigger. I was not born to live to die.

I am willing to learn despite the hard lessons. I'm gonna take it as it comes.

Skipping with gratitude

Hello again dear Reinventionistas, it seems I am losing the battle between consistency and creativity and, well, life, again. Never mind, I know that I need to command my dreams each day. A little bit, 5 minutes here and there and the mountain will be climbed.

Fasnacht festivities have begun in Basel and all over Europe. Apparently, it's an old Roman tradition to party in the winter and change roles from the every day. Masks and strange costumes that you wouldn't even recognize your neighbor, confetti everywhere, and jolly happy people despite the weather. It is actually a hobby and social thing for most revelers, year round to prepare for these 3 beautiful days.

This year, I am trying to avoid getting caught up in it all. We'll see how that will pan out. I have some achievements I want to try to make this month, and it's going to be a close one as I am already 8 days behind. German, Work, Health, Writing, and Comfort: they seems to be my top 5 priorities, followed then by everything else. I think I need to shake it around a bit though, as my training is getting too lazy and comfortable in each of those areas. What is Comfort you say? Yeah, I do have some habits that I keep that aren't really conducive to growth.

Perhaps for next week, my priorities should be:

1. Growth
2. Writing
3. German
4. Health
5. Work

So, what is Growth? I think it is taking risks and doing things that make me "fearless" sometimes and challenge my comfort zone. Let's take a moment from some random but inspirational quote:

"If you're not a little bit uncomfortable on a daily basis it means you're not growing. Every aspect of physical and emotional growth arrives from outside your comfort zone. So be fearless sometimes. Have the courage to take the risks that feel right. Go where there are no certainties. Stretch yourself and your routines even if it means feeling a bit uncomfortable. The road less traveled is sometimes laden with potholes, bumps, and unexplored territory. But it is on this road where your strength grows and your dreams gradually reveal themselves."

- Spencer Chapman


No more fears!!

So, we're havin' a party...

Everybody's swinging.... dancing to the music... on the radio...

Happy New Year, my fellow re-inventionistas. It's been quite an interesting, slip-sliding, kinda f*ing cold, January ride so far. Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes would be proud of our shin-dig tonight. A duo band right out of Jersey (the old one) will be joining us, and we'll have an old-fashioned knees up.

Whatever. I realise I am not a normal American. But I'm okay with that, I've finally come to terms with it all. Thinking that I am an alien from outer space really doesn't help in terms of coping with all the culture clash and the multitudes of people, and all that language. Although, I do just put on my mask and go outside. *They* never see the real me. I am so grateful to be able to come home, take off that horrid mask, and be home, and with my partner and cats, and whatever. No one has to know, just how we are.

I forgive them all for their trespasses, because I deserve peace. There is a oneness somewhere inside that surpasses all this anger and fear, blood and death. Days like today, when life says take a rest, you look exhausted: you surrender to that peace.

And dance and celebrate like no one's watching and not caring what other people think. As long as you aren't breaking any laws, it's their problem not yours!

Have a great weekend everybody!

End 2012

Still in England today, the last Friday of 2012. Not really prepared to celebrate and let go this past year, but I am looking forward to 2013. I am grateful for:

1. My accountant
2. New medications
3. No broken bones
4. Good holidays
5. Good friends
6. My family
7. My husband
8. My cat sitters
9. My cats
10. That I can read and write - literacy is highly underrated
11. A full belly
12. A warm dry roof over my head
13. My stuffed animals
14. Soft sofa chairs
15. Quiet times


That's all for me this year. I'm going to carve out more time to be organized and write more in 2013. Watch out world!

Happy holidays!

Feeling relaxed and happy amongst my husband's family. Driving around the damp soaked out English countryside earlier this holiday weekend, it's humbling and warming to appreciate how this country celebrates with all its mixing of people - peacefully. It has a third of the population of the US but perhaps a tenth or less of the land mass. Yet, in these relatively cramped quarters, they get along for the most part.

They've been doing it longer you say - nearly 1,000 years since England was recognized - a few wars and riots since but the community and workers and families do take care of their own and don't overly rely on socialist policies other than their most important wealth - the nation's health services.

What possesses someone - outside of the military or trained police- to actually go out and do the terrible deed of killing another human ? On this eve which marks the birth of one of the Prophets, I don't understand how in this day and age people haven't got that first idea through their thick skulls - don't kill your fellow man.

C'mon people now smile on your brother - try to love one another right now!

Mobile posting

I'm actually writing today's post snuggled under some blankets with a cat slowly creeping up on me. He's purring away like a motorcycle. His wet nose is a bit cold but he's lovely and happy.

Darkness falls and the snow is turning to rain. It will be like sheet ice out there later on tonight, so I will wear my good boots tonight. Going to a holiday social with carol singing. Hmm, not sure if I was supposed to bring something? Might have to stop by the store on the way there.

I am really excited for 2013. Things are starting to come together and I will carve out more time for writing and leave the complicated stuff to others. I'm asking for help and letting go of all the rest.

It does take a long time for dreams to come true - the good ones that are long lasting and meaningful. You work hard. You use your gifts and build on your strengths. You love and learn. You get hurt and learn. It's lifelong learning. Once you stop learning or being teachable - you start really dying or not really living.

Perhaps I need warmer socks tonight - the second cat won't warm my feet. Even she is avoiding them. Sitting on the radiator may help - in the short term. Of course I'm sure wine would help my feet for a while ;)

Life as a Work-in-Progress

Often we think of fixed points or processes -- things that will "never" change -- and set our paths by them. The Northern Star, the sun setting in the west, the moon moving around the Earth every 28 days or so. But here, at the 100-foot level, life is more fluid, un-fixed if you will. Philosophies change, fashion and music, all the way down to the molecular level, if we think in centuries and decades and years, instead of millennia and eons.

Our short time here on Earth then is always a work in progress - processes change, nothing is ever really final. "The only thing that remains the same is change" - except maybe the concepts of pure love and pure fear. The very extremes most of us understand very well, it's the huge spectrum in between that causes confusion. Always changing.

In this short life, there are no guarantees - we may wish for them - but reality is, that's not going to happen. That's the big "grow up" step we make at some point in our lives.

I found the poem below on my Facebook Likes, about learning and growing up. Strange, children talk about when they're all grown up -- when is that? Someone else said when you start doing the things you really love and feel alive -- that's when you start to feel alive. Another person says life begins at 40.

Perhaps all of these things are true, because I've haven't felt this alive since I was 15. Reawakening to your true self is so so amazing. I highly recommend it.

---

Author: Veronica A. Shoffstall
After a while
you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't always promises
and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn
with every good-bye you learn.

Pre-Friday Post

It seems a bit strange to spend an American Thanksgiving in London. I'll be having Thanksgiving dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe ;)

I am thankful for so much. To me, all that matters is that everyone I know and love the world over is sharing and giving thanks / being grateful for what they have today and everyday, where ever they may be.

Happy November 22nd everybody! Be excellent to each other.

Better Late Than Never

I must remember: everything happens for a reason.

Yet, life is full of contradictions. Can I be so arrogant and self-important, to believe that the universe is actually looking at me? After the millennia it has to take care of? All that complicated physics? I am just a tiny speck of sand in the Sahara.

Nevertheless, in my 90-odd years of life on this planet, all I want to do is to make a difference. Even if it is minuscule a drop in a vast ocean. Everyone dies baby that's a fact: "it is our mortality that defines us".

I don't want to live forever, I just want my 1%.

Some days, I do feel like I've achieved that: when I've gotten through to a colleague to be more open-minded, when I've shared something with my partner that I've never shared to anyone else in the world, when I've overcome some big hurdle in my life and accepted the love and forgiveness that life provides. But obviously, I'm not done yet.

The dead are still here with us - I see them in pictures, in town, and in my daily chores. I feel them in my heart, in my soul. I see them in the faces of my family and friends. I read or hear them in my books, my pets, my music. We are just exchanging carbon atoms.

I am an irrational, illogical human being. I want to say on my death bed: "well, that was fun". I want to enjoy every moment and keep time as my faithful companion.

Geronimo! Allons-y! Kitty!

On the way to thinking about what to write...

This morning already has been so interesting.

Another tossing & turning night, with my world's troubles still running around like a hamster in my head. Sleep-deprived and unmedicated, I wanted to rush rush rush through my mornings errands, just so I could have a free hour to write write write.

Then, I fell down some concrete stairs while carrying glass recyclables in a plastic box. I hit my mouth on a hard glass and the corner of the box. But while I was falling, all I could think about were my knees.

Surgery 17 years ago and having suffered many dizzying falls as a child and young adult -- once scraping my knees to the bone -- both knees still give me tricks and challenges. Now, that knee replacement will probably be moved up: to when I'm 55 instead of 60.

Spontaneous tears burst, like a child, I laid motionless on the floor not able to move. A kind and generous young lady talked to me in a soothing adult manner, and helped me get up. Things hurt: another friend got me a chair to sit down in and yet another, some water and ice.

Nothing broken no lasting damage (I hope) other than a reflection of the perspective I was afforded. And the fact that it gave me something amazing to write and reflect about for the rest of the day.

I am so grateful to you, my friends, and, also to all my intimate strangers -- who really understand the meaning of community and helping each other out.

It was just meant to be. Bruised lip and a few more scrapes, but this body knows that. The mind now remembers the forgiveness that life provides.

Character and experience - it is what separates the human with integrity and those without. What a wonderful world.

All My Favo(u)rite Things

Close of business on a dreary and cold (finally!) Friday...and all I can think about is "My Favorite Things" from the musical, Sound of Music, by Rogers & Hammerstein. Here's the reprise version, the reunion with the children:

The run up to my big "round number" birthday is all about my favorite things. It's going to be a lovely next 7-8 days filled with Snoopy & the Great Pumpkin, The Sound of Music, Bruce Springsteen (of course!), our cats, James, yummy favorite foods....

Stressy weeks require extra de-stressing too! Someone recently wrote: "Always affirm the outcome you want!" Positive affirmations are definitely much more helpful than worrying about a nasty surprise. You can reap what you sow, and even if you don't, the ride is much more pleasant if you stay positive. Enjoy it, why put up with pain if you don't have to?

A friend of mine in Basel had a baby yesterday. I went to the hospital today and she let me hold him, oh my God! Just a day old! Amazing little thing he is! So strong already, the kicks in the womb must of been helping him strengthen those legs. The father is so wonderful and I am so happy for both of them. They are so blessed.

Really, all I want is to be able to testify. To be a testament to those who want to listen. To say something about my life, my universe, my everything. To give thanks to the universe for this beautiful life and the privilege to work with Love.

I miss my mother, I miss my father, and I miss my brother. I miss my bunny and niece and nephew. I miss my sister-in-law. I miss my "scuzzy roommates". I miss my Italian-American and French-American "mothers". I miss redwire and 53Esquire, skyjocky, PrettyRedRose, misadventure, nikita, and sixtyninechevy. I miss the Big Man. I miss N, J, T, G and PPP, A, E, J, and the Australian mötley crew.

So, I simply remember my favorite things....

Dying and Living Gracefully

I just finished the book, "Seize the Day: How the Dying Teach Us to Live", by Marie de Hennezel, a French nurse working in a palliative care unit in Paris. 

It is eerie knowing the people she writes about are already dead, long gone: yet she writes with such compassion and clarity, that these people seem still alive and here. If I was to visit this hospital now, I am sure I would see the memory of these people on the faces of doctors and nurses and other psychiatric staff who still work there. It really isn't about the money: it is about human dignity and doing work that is meaningful and compassionate.

Classical psychology/psychiatry always has this "emotional distance". It keeps one objective and able to withdraw and cope with the sometimes horrible things patients say. What Mrs. de Hennezel is able to achieve with her brand of psychology, based on Jungian principles, is a much more compassionate and physical form of healing and accompaniment. She is wonderfully alive, and her book is a testament to that. Teaching someone to live is no small feat, but in the Western world that is her construct, we can afford to be a little more touchy-feely, she claims. It heals the living, the last rites.

They say, the dead have no religion. But the dying do, and we are all dying, just as soon as we are born. The other books I am reading are also on this similar thread of the true nature of the human and breaking through all the lies and constructs we've been given since we were a child. It's a good theme.

Not sure where to go from here, but that's alright. Reading and writing such "fluffy" stuff is becoming a larger part of my life again, while the "hard" sciences are becoming much smaller and I hope to diminish them completely in the years to come. 

It suits me right. I am not daydreaming anymore! From the Facebook page of: Never Give Up on Yourself:

Friday's post

Dear readers, I am not exactly sure what happened on Friday. I woke up thinking: "Oh today is Friday, I must post on my blog". Then the day unfolded, and it became...

Monday!

In between, our new dryer arrived and I had a whole host of other invaders and things to prepare for the weekend. A baby shower, baking cookies, a fabulous Sunday dinner and all the shopping that goes along with those things normally. I managed to get a lot of things done, so I am very pleased with myself for that and, my husband and I still managed some quality time with the Swiss landscape and train system ;) We love our trains!

So, today I will *cheat* a little and use a quote from another blog to which I subscribe to, Jeff Goins (www.goinswriter.com), in a lovingly titled "The Mr. Miyagi Guide to Practice" post:

There is no awesome and mundane. There is only the work that must be done.

This really speaks to me today. I know how I was as a teenager, I *hated* field hockey practice, I *hated* basketball practice, I strongly disliked running speed drills (meaning at least I understood why I needed them ;) ). I was such a kid. I wanted to just freakin' play the game already. I wanted the competition, I wanted to go play for real *all the time*. Practice was for wimps.

But, as Jeff points out, life IS practice. Since nowadays I don't compete with anyone but myself -- I practice writing, I practice dreaming, it's all practice. Just like doctors who have a practice, one cannot know everything: life, love, it is all an art, and you practice it.

Practice it for what, you say? To what end?

There doesn't have to be a what, does there? I say: "Let's let love give what it gives"

Practices and experiences and artwork, building a body of them. Feeling good within your skin, having a clear conscience about the things you've done or have not done... learning from each experience and taking the lessons learned to heart.

There are no awesome or mundane tasks. It's all good! I am so grateful for that concept. Other things I am thankful for today:

1. The cleaner finally came today, in the morning like she is supposed to
2. It's finally getting cold enough to snow down to 1,000 meters: and maybe even down to 700 meters by the end of the week!! Yeay!
3. "Redefine Possible": grateful to have witnessed live part of Felix Baumgartner's historic flight, as well as all the heroes and heroines out there who redefine what is possible everyday (e.g. Spencer West and Rachel Beckwith)
4. Believing in myself on this cold/grey October to be the "slow and steady" tortoise, I will win the race in the end. I can do it! I am the Little Red Engine Who Could.
5. Being asked to be a godmother. Gushing!

OK, back to reality: time to go make dinner. This is also a happy work for me. I love food and cooking ;) 

Have a wonderful time, and please, feel free to give me feedback!! Come back and read again on Friday!