My choice today

I woke up this morning still feeling appalled and aghast at the audacity of a work colleague of mine. Suffice to say, I was discouraged and de-motivated to go into the office, I had schemes of sabotage running around in my head, making me spin with anger.

But I am better than that. I choose to excel, not to compete.

I realised that this individual's behaviour is typical of a bully. What do you do with bullies? You show them what love can do. You show them their behaviour is not acceptable. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it stinks. But the trick is, one cannot be drawn down to their level. This individual is clearly in a lot of pain and suffering for some reason and lashes out.

Can you change a bully? No, just as you cannot change a leopard's spots. I know I am a good writer, I inspire many. I know I am a good leader, I have led teams through significant change. However, I cannot manage someone who does not want to be led. Who consistently and seemingly purposely ignores the rules of engagement. Who chooses to pick only those rules that suit. Who blatantly ignores processes many hold dear. Who is selfish, arrogant and manipulative.

I am clearly disappointed in this individual's behaviour. I cannot let one bad seed (or the so-called 2%) ruin the whole crop. I have a responsibility to 'correct' but to do it gently, with honor and grace.

I have a responsibility to the whole. I will turn my attention to them and, today, I choose to ignore the bully. When I am calmer, I shall respond with a clear mind.

Breathe in... breathe out...I know what will restore my faith. Rock 'n' Roll!!

Dying and Living Gracefully

I just finished the book, "Seize the Day: How the Dying Teach Us to Live", by Marie de Hennezel, a French nurse working in a palliative care unit in Paris. 

It is eerie knowing the people she writes about are already dead, long gone: yet she writes with such compassion and clarity, that these people seem still alive and here. If I was to visit this hospital now, I am sure I would see the memory of these people on the faces of doctors and nurses and other psychiatric staff who still work there. It really isn't about the money: it is about human dignity and doing work that is meaningful and compassionate.

Classical psychology/psychiatry always has this "emotional distance". It keeps one objective and able to withdraw and cope with the sometimes horrible things patients say. What Mrs. de Hennezel is able to achieve with her brand of psychology, based on Jungian principles, is a much more compassionate and physical form of healing and accompaniment. She is wonderfully alive, and her book is a testament to that. Teaching someone to live is no small feat, but in the Western world that is her construct, we can afford to be a little more touchy-feely, she claims. It heals the living, the last rites.

They say, the dead have no religion. But the dying do, and we are all dying, just as soon as we are born. The other books I am reading are also on this similar thread of the true nature of the human and breaking through all the lies and constructs we've been given since we were a child. It's a good theme.

Not sure where to go from here, but that's alright. Reading and writing such "fluffy" stuff is becoming a larger part of my life again, while the "hard" sciences are becoming much smaller and I hope to diminish them completely in the years to come. 

It suits me right. I am not daydreaming anymore! From the Facebook page of: Never Give Up on Yourself: