10 minutes to write

Blank slates are intimidating. Whether they are white or black, the emptiness is breath-taking as one takes the first few baby steps onto the surface. One tries not to look back at the mistakes made even in those first few steps, are they really that crucial? No, one must steady on.

So much so many demands come on to each of us every day. That's why it is so important to stay true to yourself and stick to your guns: your priorities come first. Then once you've taken care of what you need to do, you can help others. Yesterday, deciding between my German and my cooking and my exercise and my volunteering duties, I went with exercise and listening to music.

I needed to blow off some doors, I needed to not have to fit in. It was getting to be too much: all these demands on my time, when I couldn't even hear myself think. I have to manage my time much better or I will lose it. Sustainable efforts are much better than losing it.

I managed the cooking though, I am so glad not to have another 'student' eat-out or pasta night. Dinner only took 30 minutes including chopping! I'll definitely make that again. Turkish lamb pilau. Fantastic, next time I add a bit more cinnamon or other-worldly spices.

One more minute and the slate is no longer blank. I enjoyed my time and will have to do this more often. It's not so scary. I will write that scene with Bruce and Catherine later, it's still bugging me.

Happy International Women's Day!

[word count 267]

Better Late Than Never

I must remember: everything happens for a reason.

Yet, life is full of contradictions. Can I be so arrogant and self-important, to believe that the universe is actually looking at me? After the millennia it has to take care of? All that complicated physics? I am just a tiny speck of sand in the Sahara.

Nevertheless, in my 90-odd years of life on this planet, all I want to do is to make a difference. Even if it is minuscule a drop in a vast ocean. Everyone dies baby that's a fact: "it is our mortality that defines us".

I don't want to live forever, I just want my 1%.

Some days, I do feel like I've achieved that: when I've gotten through to a colleague to be more open-minded, when I've shared something with my partner that I've never shared to anyone else in the world, when I've overcome some big hurdle in my life and accepted the love and forgiveness that life provides. But obviously, I'm not done yet.

The dead are still here with us - I see them in pictures, in town, and in my daily chores. I feel them in my heart, in my soul. I see them in the faces of my family and friends. I read or hear them in my books, my pets, my music. We are just exchanging carbon atoms.

I am an irrational, illogical human being. I want to say on my death bed: "well, that was fun". I want to enjoy every moment and keep time as my faithful companion.

Geronimo! Allons-y! Kitty!