Autumn and my life cycle

Here it is: my happy poem, "An Ode to Autumn". Published in a community newsletter, slightly anonymized, but who cares. It's a start.

This poem chronicles a bit my experience in Switzerland over the last 9 years. I am getting a bit nostalgic as I approach my 10th anniversary in March 2013. Here's my (nearly) line-by-line breakdown:

• dusts, heroes of summer: think of "The Rising" Bruce Springsteen
• born: yes I mean literally. Some of the best people I know are born between Sept 21 and December 21, typical autumn in the Northern Hemisphere
• boys shooting: this refers to the autumnal festival called Knabbenschiessen, loosely translated as "boys shooting" in Zürich, where I lived for 5 years. The translation is quite funny. Recently though, a young Swiss girl has entered the competition and been a great success.
• Öpfelkiechli or (Öpfel Küchli): Swiss-German dialect for these lovely deep-fried battered apple rings at the Basel Autumn Fair, or Herbstmesse, coming soon end of October. Mmmm. There's a very specific stand, and a very specific lady who makes these. I won't eat any other!
• The bells of Switzerland: there are a lot. Not just church bells. Cow and sheep (and other mountain animals) bells, sleigh bells, door bells... I love them all. Saturday evening they ring for 10 minutes. Really. OK, church bells only.
• Been listening to a lot of R.E.M. lately. Three words from the album, Green (1988). Song: "You Are The Everything". Find it, buy it. Love it!

• OK, we didn't get married in Autumn, but we did get engaged. Friends of ours got married in Autumn. 
• I guess the ol' October 1st heating rule is quite old. Must also be a Zürich thing.
• Yeah, the Dragon / drago in Italian / Draco. Read what you will into that.
• There used to be a branch of the Swiss army that wore yellow berets.
• Yeah, there's always the end of year rush to get things done, not only in Switzerland, but everywhere. Post-its are like leaves...
• Odd use of winter as a "dénouement" is a bit circular ;)

I'm making my first recipe of pumpkin-apple strudel later on today. A variation of Jamie Oliver's Pumpkin Strudel but better. ;) Can't wait!!!

Best-laid plans...

Of Mice and Men. (John Steinbeck). Lenny and George. Why did we care about these two misshapen tools? Because they were poor? Their funny way of talking? Because they had nobody and simply had to look out for each other? Their loneliness? Dreams are great, but to have this constant danger and dagger along side, definitely didn’t do George no good. But it was out of love. Love of his friend more than love of his dream. So we can only console with George, because that was the way it was always going to end up. Lenny’s life or George’s. I think George knew that at the beginning.

Well, yes, my plans ‘Gang aft agley’ -- go often askew, according to Robert Burns. But to look at the present, be now and around in awareness, instead of this silly backward eye -- that is the blessing of the mouse. Man is always fearing and guessing. That ain’t no fun!

Am I having fun then in my present? Yeah I work hard but fun?? What would make this more fun? New interesting music? New words new habits? New characters? Last week I managed to avoid the news, so I didn’t make much of the current events. Me thinks that “real world journalism” isn’t for me. I like features and themes. I like science-y things that need some thought into them, not necessarily fast reporting. I am always looking for this thread that weaves in and out like on the Giant Loom of my life.

This week I am supposed to focus on characters. I like Doctor Who. So go with it. A clock stoppage -- giant loom story with Doctor Who pieces. OK. Idea! Go! Stay with it!

One day at a time

It truly is a wonderful life... the writing life... sure some days setbacks are all you get, struggling to write the next word, to come up with the next idea, editing, polishing, looking forward for all those rejection slips coming back... maybe some with a glint of keep going... but mostly its all you. This is my job, and it suits me right.

It's truly wonderful that I still have the power within me to change my life to change my vision. To actually feel good about it and go confidently into this world. Everything will work out and will come into place. This power, this inner strength if you will, is the single most greatest thing, the most valuable thing, that keeps one alive and healthy. Not a change in food, sleep, or exercise alone can do that. Inner strength. The power to change I contend has to come first and be the biggest proponent that drives all other change. Bottom-Up Management.

It's snowing here. I remember one bleak grey morning, not so long ago last March, when I started writing here. I remember feeling blessed for the snow, to be able to see it and enjoy it in the warmth of my apartment. The flakes may not be as fluffy and big, but they are creating a white blanket on the roof below outside my window, the hinterhaus of my neighbor's painting studio. I watched my cats watch the snow then, and I watch them again now. It's amazing, wonderful snow.

Sometimes I struggle to find something to write about. But it is really all around me and in me. I just have to start writing and its like a river that keeps flowing. The strength I need most days is to JUST START. Audacity!

Sometimes with the struggle comes fear. I know this now, and finally at last I can do something about it. START. The initial process of re-inventing myself is over. I've done it, I've succeeded. I found the inner strength, in my thoughts, in my prayers which create my success -- now I have to tap this stream of strength each day and START.

My START UP ROUTINE:
6.30 am AWAKE! Refreshed! Think what a great day! Energize!
7:15 am Yoga, Muscles, Aerobics, Balance physical work
8:00 am Shower and Energize again, mental work, warm up hands and ready set, and...
9:00 am START writing -- up to 2000 words per day...

My Maintenance ROUTINE:
12.30 Energize, tank up positive thoughts!
13.30 Business work
16.00 Small Re-energize, go for a walk?
17.00 Continue writing / work

My Shutdown ROUTINE:
19.30 lightly energize
20.30 wind-down: reading, relaxing, nothing too exciting, no computer work
10.30 Shutdown and think "what a good day! I did everything right! In my opinion!"


Much like a computer process (of course I am not a robot!). But there's lots of flexibility built into the process. One of the wonderful things about being a freelancer is to let go and allow your self to be flexible. The bigger the company is, the more drowned in processes and rules and hierarchy it is, and there is no creativity or flexibility or allowance for "out of process" custom work. The START UP, MAINTENANCE AND SHUTDOWN procedures are highly regulated, controlled and checked by the process engineers every morning, shift change, and night... (24 hour process control! Oh love I miss that!! NOT!).

But if I think of my mind and my body and my life as 24-hr Process Control, it's easier for me somehow as some of my inner strength is in that fundamental engineering knowledge. Weird, eh? Like the snow today, I feel like I have come full circle.

One day at a time. That's all the process engineer can do, is look at the system and process, one day at a time. Doing the best that he/she can with what they've got to work with. Whether or not the process actually produces the desired outputs in specification, well, for the moment, that is not his/her problem....The quality assurance engineer takes over.... whether the desired outputs are marketable or sale-able, someone else's job too... Other engineer's hats... other days... they all do the best they can with what they have at the end of the day... so all the other minutiae don't matter. In my opinion.