Hello World.
Again! Back from the dead, re-processed. No zombies this time round, eh?
Test, test and re-test. All processes need to be tested. To see if they are rigorous enough to handle all the crap that's out there, the impurities and what not. One has to stay involved, draw inspiration from the testing and get creative to solve the issue to improve the process. It's an never ending story. One needs strength also, not to just give up and scrap the whole thing and try to start anew again, although I am sure there are several Lonza chemical engineers who wished they could do just that. It's a commitment long-haul kind of thing, that at least the first principles are there, and the process just needs to be tweaked and honed based on the results of the tests.
Involvement. Commitment. Drive. Ambition. These things sometimes I find I am lacking, in my work life and in my personal life. I admire those who have it, I am proud of myself when I see it in me, but sometimes I can't be bothered. I'd rather just relax and goof off, not get involved, not commit, not set goals, not do it. I like being distracted for some reason, procrastination, even though deep inside I know that it is vital to my overall well-being and success that I have some level of involvement in things that are important to me and not let the world just wash over with what ever it wants to send me. How I handle Plan B? Involvement. Commitment. Maybe not so much ambition, but definitely drive. Lemons? Lemonade, and all that.
The trials that I've been going through lately have sorely tested my commitment and level of involvement to a fairly tedious and boring, but well paid (!) project. I've always said I don't care about the money, I just need something to be interesting and challenging and well, this project is neither. It's hard mostly because it is so unglamorous and uninteresting, but there is the problem I might not know exactly what I am doing. There are things I consider glamorous and interesting, but aren't so well paying... the other projects I have are medium level, interesting but not exactly glamorous either, but it's not hard for me because I know how.
Oh this is boring you isn't it?? What about my writing you say? what happened to the plan? the book? the stories? where are they? what's happening? the trials have sapped a lot of energy from me. I need to re-charge and get rid of these energy wasters, while I try to get back involved in my stuff: my writing, my commitment, my drive, my ambition inside of me. Even if I never make it big, at least I want to know I've tried hard hard hard, as hard as I've tried anything else before.
That's the kind of commitment I'm talking about. That's when I'll know I've fully re-invented myself.
Stay the course. Believe. The 3 P's. Patience. Perseverance. Persistence.
Showing posts with label control. Show all posts
Showing posts with label control. Show all posts
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Nerds and Progress
You know the feeling of being sucked into a good story? A really good story? Something that you’d stay up all night to finish reading? That’s what I felt like last week.
I've been learning about Mac Software and OS X, programming and the like. It’s like meeting up with a long lost friend. I used to know so much stuff about coding, programming, and how to do things in UNIX and fixing/making stuff work. It seems I am in this pattern though:
“Oh dear. I am a nerd. I think I am going back to nerd-dom. Ooo, software. Oooo, programming. Oooo, code. You will do what I want! You will obey my Authority!!”
Worse, I am a narcissistic nerd. Hence, the need to say “Look at me, me, me!!!”
Well, if you don’t like it, too bad. This is me. This is what you’ve fallen in love with. I may change over time (hence re-invention) but the core package is still the same.
I lost my passion for programming and control a long time ago, but definitely when I got sucked into the world of biomedicine circa 1996. I was focusing on the somewhat interesting human body with its complex control systems, but it was really about the technology I was more interested. I am more interested in how my blood glucose meter works and the technology behind it, than the stupid reading that comes out and what it means for my “lifestyle change”.
What’s wrong with being a nerd? Nerds are just passionate about things that most normal people are not passionate about. Electronics, systems design, web design and databases (information management), content -- technology and communication of technology... I like these things. I weave them into my stories. In a sense I am writing more science fiction than, say “chick lit”. Perhaps it is also why Google Blog people think my writing style is predominantly “Male”. So what?
I am through with caring what other people think. I just want “to feel some rhythm” and develop my passions. I know I am not alone -- there are other nerds out there too who want and need my ability to communicate their stories. So that’s what I’m seeking -- to boldly seek out these life forms…
Progress update:
Word count: 495
I've been learning about Mac Software and OS X, programming and the like. It’s like meeting up with a long lost friend. I used to know so much stuff about coding, programming, and how to do things in UNIX and fixing/making stuff work. It seems I am in this pattern though:
“Oh dear. I am a nerd. I think I am going back to nerd-dom. Ooo, software. Oooo, programming. Oooo, code. You will do what I want! You will obey my Authority!!”
Worse, I am a narcissistic nerd. Hence, the need to say “Look at me, me, me!!!”
Well, if you don’t like it, too bad. This is me. This is what you’ve fallen in love with. I may change over time (hence re-invention) but the core package is still the same.
I lost my passion for programming and control a long time ago, but definitely when I got sucked into the world of biomedicine circa 1996. I was focusing on the somewhat interesting human body with its complex control systems, but it was really about the technology I was more interested. I am more interested in how my blood glucose meter works and the technology behind it, than the stupid reading that comes out and what it means for my “lifestyle change”.
What’s wrong with being a nerd? Nerds are just passionate about things that most normal people are not passionate about. Electronics, systems design, web design and databases (information management), content -- technology and communication of technology... I like these things. I weave them into my stories. In a sense I am writing more science fiction than, say “chick lit”. Perhaps it is also why Google Blog people think my writing style is predominantly “Male”. So what?
I am through with caring what other people think. I just want “to feel some rhythm” and develop my passions. I know I am not alone -- there are other nerds out there too who want and need my ability to communicate their stories. So that’s what I’m seeking -- to boldly seek out these life forms…
Progress update:
- new contest list for 2009 developing
- decision point: focus on short story writing / publishing instead of novels
- set and meet word count goals for the week: this week is 1500 words / day = 7500 words
- scheduling: edit & other work in afternoons
- refreshed list of specific projects to complete and start sending out again
- learn new things on business side (web content)
Word count: 495
Friday, December 12, 2008
Have confidence in the Process
Some distillation today of whirling circling thoughts:
"Develop an approach" ==> A Process
"Inspiration is wonderful when it happens, but the writer must develop an approach for the rest of the time... The wait is simply too long."
-- Leonard Bernstein
"Capable" ==> Confident
"My touchstones are authenticity, playfulness and audacity, and by keeping these three key words at the forefront of my mind when sitting down to write, I find that I am capable of overcoming my fear of the blank page. "
-- Amy Palko of Lives Less Ordinary and Textual Tangents. Amy is writing her thesis paper on Stephen King and has spent quite some time studying him.
"Audacity / Appearance of Confidence" ==> Strategic mindset / Control / Discipline
" 'Audacity, always audacity'-soundest principle of strategy. In practicing medicine I learned that when you are most at loss is the time when you must appear confident. In law I had learned that, when your case seems hopeless, you must impress the jury with your relaxed certainty.' "
-- Jubal, character in A Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein
Brave / Faith / Uncommon ==>
Sticking to the process even when faced with negative feedback / Against Odds or Statistics / Customized or Unique
None but the Brave
-- Bruce Springsteen
"Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to." Miracle on 34th Street
"Common sense is anything but common." -- Unknown.
"Develop an approach" ==> A Process
"Inspiration is wonderful when it happens, but the writer must develop an approach for the rest of the time... The wait is simply too long."
-- Leonard Bernstein
"Capable" ==> Confident
"My touchstones are authenticity, playfulness and audacity, and by keeping these three key words at the forefront of my mind when sitting down to write, I find that I am capable of overcoming my fear of the blank page. "
-- Amy Palko of Lives Less Ordinary and Textual Tangents. Amy is writing her thesis paper on Stephen King and has spent quite some time studying him.
"Audacity / Appearance of Confidence" ==> Strategic mindset / Control / Discipline
" 'Audacity, always audacity'-soundest principle of strategy. In practicing medicine I learned that when you are most at loss is the time when you must appear confident. In law I had learned that, when your case seems hopeless, you must impress the jury with your relaxed certainty.' "
-- Jubal, character in A Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein
Brave / Faith / Uncommon ==>
Sticking to the process even when faced with negative feedback / Against Odds or Statistics / Customized or Unique
None but the Brave
-- Bruce Springsteen
"Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to." Miracle on 34th Street
"Common sense is anything but common." -- Unknown.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Discipline versus Creativity
Last time, I talked in "fluffy terms" about process control and bottom-up self management. There was struggle and inner strength. One might also view the problem as the age-old: do you as a writer have more discipline, or more creativity? The "consensus out there" seems to be you can be strong only in one. You have to shore up the weaker process.
It would seem from the weight of my discussions on process, is that I struggle with discipline, and hence am always trying to control my unruly Rottweilers. This might mean that I am very creative according to the "consensus out there". Which is partially true. In my previous day job, I had so many great ideas, but was not able to always quickly implement them. If I am honest, most of the lack of implementation wasn't because I wasn't supported by my boss or the organization... It's just that I lacked the discipline to see them through to completion. I often caved in to pressure and let it slide when things didn't work out initially as I had planned, and caved in to negative feedback even though I was once upon at time sure that my theory or idea would work. I lost faith in the process and the control of the process. I lost the faith in the discipline it takes to get a group or process under my control. I lost faith in group dynamics and motivation of my fellow team members (management speak).
Strange, eh? I am the custom department though, I am the maverick. I am no longer interested in group dynamics or people control. With the way the world is, crowd control would be a good field to get into if you are so inclined. I am not. I'll just work on my own control processes, thank You!
I said above that I should be very creative, was only partially true. The struggle for ideas sometimes leads me to believe that I am not creative. This is negative feedback. I have to stop this process stream in its tracks. The ideas are there, they are just not in the proper state to flow. Think solid versus liquid. The water is still there, but sometimes some thing needs to be done to get the liquid to flow again. My ideas are like water (or the unnamed non-Newtonian liquid I talked about before). The things I need to do (plan to do, i.e. discipline) to start-up are meant to get the liquid to flow again. Therefore, one can not have creativity in a vacuum, or discipline in a vacuum. You have to have both and be "good" at both at some level or time in the systems, processes or streams. Whatever you want to call it at this point.
I've always liked fluid dynamics on the theoretical level (micro and macro) and not so much in real life. Real life is always so much more messy. Think polymers, and oil (both the heating kind and the eating kind :-)) I see it everywhere, Newtonian motion, non-Newtonian flow, creep, all those things I studied once upon a time.
In my process control mind, I am the nice wonderful non-Newtonian fluid (far from ideal ;-) ). So it requires some creativity on how to discipline it and get my great ideas implemented quickly. How do I make my systems and processes (start-up, maintenance, shutdown) from being slow and inconsistent like honey to quick and replicable/sustainable like mercury. (without turning a sweet into poison!!)?
This is my challenge now. One day at a time!!!
It would seem from the weight of my discussions on process, is that I struggle with discipline, and hence am always trying to control my unruly Rottweilers. This might mean that I am very creative according to the "consensus out there". Which is partially true. In my previous day job, I had so many great ideas, but was not able to always quickly implement them. If I am honest, most of the lack of implementation wasn't because I wasn't supported by my boss or the organization... It's just that I lacked the discipline to see them through to completion. I often caved in to pressure and let it slide when things didn't work out initially as I had planned, and caved in to negative feedback even though I was once upon at time sure that my theory or idea would work. I lost faith in the process and the control of the process. I lost the faith in the discipline it takes to get a group or process under my control. I lost faith in group dynamics and motivation of my fellow team members (management speak).
Strange, eh? I am the custom department though, I am the maverick. I am no longer interested in group dynamics or people control. With the way the world is, crowd control would be a good field to get into if you are so inclined. I am not. I'll just work on my own control processes, thank You!
I said above that I should be very creative, was only partially true. The struggle for ideas sometimes leads me to believe that I am not creative. This is negative feedback. I have to stop this process stream in its tracks. The ideas are there, they are just not in the proper state to flow. Think solid versus liquid. The water is still there, but sometimes some thing needs to be done to get the liquid to flow again. My ideas are like water (or the unnamed non-Newtonian liquid I talked about before). The things I need to do (plan to do, i.e. discipline) to start-up are meant to get the liquid to flow again. Therefore, one can not have creativity in a vacuum, or discipline in a vacuum. You have to have both and be "good" at both at some level or time in the systems, processes or streams. Whatever you want to call it at this point.
I've always liked fluid dynamics on the theoretical level (micro and macro) and not so much in real life. Real life is always so much more messy. Think polymers, and oil (both the heating kind and the eating kind :-)) I see it everywhere, Newtonian motion, non-Newtonian flow, creep, all those things I studied once upon a time.
In my process control mind, I am the nice wonderful non-Newtonian fluid (far from ideal ;-) ). So it requires some creativity on how to discipline it and get my great ideas implemented quickly. How do I make my systems and processes (start-up, maintenance, shutdown) from being slow and inconsistent like honey to quick and replicable/sustainable like mercury. (without turning a sweet into poison!!)?
This is my challenge now. One day at a time!!!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
One day at a time
It truly is a wonderful life... the writing life... sure some days setbacks are all you get, struggling to write the next word, to come up with the next idea, editing, polishing, looking forward for all those rejection slips coming back... maybe some with a glint of keep going... but mostly its all you. This is my job, and it suits me right.
It's truly wonderful that I still have the power within me to change my life to change my vision. To actually feel good about it and go confidently into this world. Everything will work out and will come into place. This power, this inner strength if you will, is the single most greatest thing, the most valuable thing, that keeps one alive and healthy. Not a change in food, sleep, or exercise alone can do that. Inner strength. The power to change I contend has to come first and be the biggest proponent that drives all other change. Bottom-Up Management.
It's snowing here. I remember one bleak grey morning, not so long ago last March, when I started writing here. I remember feeling blessed for the snow, to be able to see it and enjoy it in the warmth of my apartment. The flakes may not be as fluffy and big, but they are creating a white blanket on the roof below outside my window, the hinterhaus of my neighbor's painting studio. I watched my cats watch the snow then, and I watch them again now. It's amazing, wonderful snow.
Sometimes I struggle to find something to write about. But it is really all around me and in me. I just have to start writing and its like a river that keeps flowing. The strength I need most days is to JUST START. Audacity!
Sometimes with the struggle comes fear. I know this now, and finally at last I can do something about it. START. The initial process of re-inventing myself is over. I've done it, I've succeeded. I found the inner strength, in my thoughts, in my prayers which create my success -- now I have to tap this stream of strength each day and START.
My START UP ROUTINE:
6.30 am AWAKE! Refreshed! Think what a great day! Energize!
7:15 am Yoga, Muscles, Aerobics, Balance physical work
8:00 am Shower and Energize again, mental work, warm up hands and ready set, and...
9:00 am START writing -- up to 2000 words per day...
My Maintenance ROUTINE:
12.30 Energize, tank up positive thoughts!
13.30 Business work
16.00 Small Re-energize, go for a walk?
17.00 Continue writing / work
My Shutdown ROUTINE:
19.30 lightly energize
20.30 wind-down: reading, relaxing, nothing too exciting, no computer work
10.30 Shutdown and think "what a good day! I did everything right! In my opinion!"
Much like a computer process (of course I am not a robot!). But there's lots of flexibility built into the process. One of the wonderful things about being a freelancer is to let go and allow your self to be flexible. The bigger the company is, the more drowned in processes and rules and hierarchy it is, and there is no creativity or flexibility or allowance for "out of process" custom work. The START UP, MAINTENANCE AND SHUTDOWN procedures are highly regulated, controlled and checked by the process engineers every morning, shift change, and night... (24 hour process control! Oh love I miss that!! NOT!).
But if I think of my mind and my body and my life as 24-hr Process Control, it's easier for me somehow as some of my inner strength is in that fundamental engineering knowledge. Weird, eh? Like the snow today, I feel like I have come full circle.
One day at a time. That's all the process engineer can do, is look at the system and process, one day at a time. Doing the best that he/she can with what they've got to work with. Whether or not the process actually produces the desired outputs in specification, well, for the moment, that is not his/her problem....The quality assurance engineer takes over.... whether the desired outputs are marketable or sale-able, someone else's job too... Other engineer's hats... other days... they all do the best they can with what they have at the end of the day... so all the other minutiae don't matter. In my opinion.
It's truly wonderful that I still have the power within me to change my life to change my vision. To actually feel good about it and go confidently into this world. Everything will work out and will come into place. This power, this inner strength if you will, is the single most greatest thing, the most valuable thing, that keeps one alive and healthy. Not a change in food, sleep, or exercise alone can do that. Inner strength. The power to change I contend has to come first and be the biggest proponent that drives all other change. Bottom-Up Management.
It's snowing here. I remember one bleak grey morning, not so long ago last March, when I started writing here. I remember feeling blessed for the snow, to be able to see it and enjoy it in the warmth of my apartment. The flakes may not be as fluffy and big, but they are creating a white blanket on the roof below outside my window, the hinterhaus of my neighbor's painting studio. I watched my cats watch the snow then, and I watch them again now. It's amazing, wonderful snow.
Sometimes I struggle to find something to write about. But it is really all around me and in me. I just have to start writing and its like a river that keeps flowing. The strength I need most days is to JUST START. Audacity!
Sometimes with the struggle comes fear. I know this now, and finally at last I can do something about it. START. The initial process of re-inventing myself is over. I've done it, I've succeeded. I found the inner strength, in my thoughts, in my prayers which create my success -- now I have to tap this stream of strength each day and START.
My START UP ROUTINE:
6.30 am AWAKE! Refreshed! Think what a great day! Energize!
7:15 am Yoga, Muscles, Aerobics, Balance physical work
8:00 am Shower and Energize again, mental work, warm up hands and ready set, and...
9:00 am START writing -- up to 2000 words per day...
My Maintenance ROUTINE:
12.30 Energize, tank up positive thoughts!
13.30 Business work
16.00 Small Re-energize, go for a walk?
17.00 Continue writing / work
My Shutdown ROUTINE:
19.30 lightly energize
20.30 wind-down: reading, relaxing, nothing too exciting, no computer work
10.30 Shutdown and think "what a good day! I did everything right! In my opinion!"
Much like a computer process (of course I am not a robot!). But there's lots of flexibility built into the process. One of the wonderful things about being a freelancer is to let go and allow your self to be flexible. The bigger the company is, the more drowned in processes and rules and hierarchy it is, and there is no creativity or flexibility or allowance for "out of process" custom work. The START UP, MAINTENANCE AND SHUTDOWN procedures are highly regulated, controlled and checked by the process engineers every morning, shift change, and night... (24 hour process control! Oh love I miss that!! NOT!).
But if I think of my mind and my body and my life as 24-hr Process Control, it's easier for me somehow as some of my inner strength is in that fundamental engineering knowledge. Weird, eh? Like the snow today, I feel like I have come full circle.
One day at a time. That's all the process engineer can do, is look at the system and process, one day at a time. Doing the best that he/she can with what they've got to work with. Whether or not the process actually produces the desired outputs in specification, well, for the moment, that is not his/her problem....The quality assurance engineer takes over.... whether the desired outputs are marketable or sale-able, someone else's job too... Other engineer's hats... other days... they all do the best they can with what they have at the end of the day... so all the other minutiae don't matter. In my opinion.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
"man the dope's that there's still hope"
Was watching an episode of House last night (probably an old series for you). The one with the magician who swallowed a key, and it turned in his intestines when he went into the MRI unit. Magnets shmagnets. The key was tiny!
Anyway, one of House's recruits was a bit hypochondriac about the possibility she had Huntington's disease, since her mother died at a early age of the disease. Basically its a neuromotor disease similar to Parkinson's and strongly genetically linked (50% chance if one parent had died from it). The woman never got tested to see if she would be likely to develop the disease. Why? Not knowing gave her hope. She could confidently do things like learning to fly and all other motor-cognitive activities she wanted to do (like being a doctor). Her premise at the end was revealed-- questions are asked in medicine and most of the time you can get an answer or do a differential diagnosis by running some test. But when there are no more answers left, then one loses hope. There is no cure for Huntington's. But she wanted to still have her hope until that day she becomes truly symptomatic.
Maybe that's for the best. To NOT know the answer. It gives us hope. You can't have it both ways, to worry about something that's out of your control, and have hope at the same time. Be happy then, have hope. Tough to be a scientist, who needs to explain away the magic, but much easier to be a doctor. Or a writer, or an artist.
Oh there's just so much to say so little time! Will write about my weekly mantra tomorrow.
Anyway, one of House's recruits was a bit hypochondriac about the possibility she had Huntington's disease, since her mother died at a early age of the disease. Basically its a neuromotor disease similar to Parkinson's and strongly genetically linked (50% chance if one parent had died from it). The woman never got tested to see if she would be likely to develop the disease. Why? Not knowing gave her hope. She could confidently do things like learning to fly and all other motor-cognitive activities she wanted to do (like being a doctor). Her premise at the end was revealed-- questions are asked in medicine and most of the time you can get an answer or do a differential diagnosis by running some test. But when there are no more answers left, then one loses hope. There is no cure for Huntington's. But she wanted to still have her hope until that day she becomes truly symptomatic.
Maybe that's for the best. To NOT know the answer. It gives us hope. You can't have it both ways, to worry about something that's out of your control, and have hope at the same time. Be happy then, have hope. Tough to be a scientist, who needs to explain away the magic, but much easier to be a doctor. Or a writer, or an artist.
Oh there's just so much to say so little time! Will write about my weekly mantra tomorrow.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
what I meant to say was
I've been getting sick a lot lately... colds, headaches, high blood pressure, etc. and I can't help but wonder ... am I letting myself go? Is my non-improving health since I left a sign that I am still stressed about something? What, pray tell now?
It's not money... I know what I have and how long it'll last until I am forced to go and find a "real job" again... It's not my love life... that's going pretty well (although maybe I would like to take the next step sometime soon)... it's not my social networking capabilities... I am holding my own and know what I can and can't in this area... it's partly my office and working situation, yes... a bit unstable at the moment, but it will smooth out if I keep doing the right things...
is it my past? maybe. is it my future? most likely. What will become of me? How will I die? (happy, sad, demented, suddenly or slowly for example). The answer is "I don't know!" My current health is some indicator... but really should I worry about the future if I don't change anything today? Should I worry at all about something I have very little control over (my death) and just focus (not worry) on what I can control... my thoughts and actions today at this moment.
I am afraid that I won't succeed in my quest to be a "hopeful author". I am afraid that I will be forever a big round apple with stick arms and feet. I am afraid I won't be able to maintain this happiness I feel now, for much longer. It may disappear overnight. So many fears, no real solution to any of them.
I have to control my thoughts, and think more positively. So what to all of the above -- I can do it! As I've said before, this is the most MAJOR part of the process of re-inventing myself. Perhaps I can work on figuring out actionable items....
I am off the next few days traveling... so catch you back here next week!
It's not money... I know what I have and how long it'll last until I am forced to go and find a "real job" again... It's not my love life... that's going pretty well (although maybe I would like to take the next step sometime soon)... it's not my social networking capabilities... I am holding my own and know what I can and can't in this area... it's partly my office and working situation, yes... a bit unstable at the moment, but it will smooth out if I keep doing the right things...
is it my past? maybe. is it my future? most likely. What will become of me? How will I die? (happy, sad, demented, suddenly or slowly for example). The answer is "I don't know!" My current health is some indicator... but really should I worry about the future if I don't change anything today? Should I worry at all about something I have very little control over (my death) and just focus (not worry) on what I can control... my thoughts and actions today at this moment.
I am afraid that I won't succeed in my quest to be a "hopeful author". I am afraid that I will be forever a big round apple with stick arms and feet. I am afraid I won't be able to maintain this happiness I feel now, for much longer. It may disappear overnight. So many fears, no real solution to any of them.
I have to control my thoughts, and think more positively. So what to all of the above -- I can do it! As I've said before, this is the most MAJOR part of the process of re-inventing myself. Perhaps I can work on figuring out actionable items....
I am off the next few days traveling... so catch you back here next week!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
You know... (warning! long post!)
I've never thought about my problem-solving and troubleshooting skills as something special.
I just do what has to be done within the constraints of the problem. It's not a fixed process or anything in my mind that I do systematically. I know scientists who are painfully methodological, and can't see outside the box they've created for themselves. Sometimes you just can't remove all other variables (or keep them constant) and just vary the test variable. Sometimes you just don't know all the variables. How on earth can such a painful approach be cost-effective or realistic? But perhaps there's something to my skills, something I should consider as special, because there are so many books out there selling "total quality management" and "continuous improvement" process to improve one's products, services, and management techniques.
Now after a few days of considering a specific problem, and trying to find a written "bona fide" process that fits the description of how I solved it, I realized I might be a maverick (or a mad engineer). Perhaps it's out there, I just haven't found it yet.
I seem to have an innate knack of process definition and control, and can see when a system is out of order and fix it. I never thought of it as a process, but perhaps it is. A process then, is something that is more or less repeatable under similar circumstances, given variables X, Y, Z, input the process will output A, B, and C. (desired output(s), undesired outputs -- i.e. impurities and waste)). Ok, this is chemical engineering at its best. Of course A, B, and C have an optimal yield and each level has its costs. And getting rid of waste has its costs. Defining the process and defining when the process is out of specification (i.e. poor quality) is a business necessity and may not apply to simple challenges or "troubleshooting", such as those one may have around the house or in re-engineering/re-invention work.
I may not be as disciplined as a servo-mechanism or computer control system, but I know my systems and what it can measure and what it can not, what it can do and what it can't, what I can change, and what I can not, and how each one of the possible changes / measurements may or may affect the process output. I guess at the moment though, you could say that the "process of re-invention" is out of specification and some control (i.e. discipline) needs to be put on it so it comes back to its intended output.
Ah, then we have to come back to the philosophical side: What is Quality anyway? It's only how you define it in your process. Can you really measure 100% accuracy? No. Because it doesn't exist. Any statistician or mathematician worth his weight will tell you that. You can only ASSURE something with a certain probability is 'error-free' or within specification to a point. Say 10^(-6) assurance, that's 0.000001, I think, chance in 100 events. Say you have 10 million possible events: then with the above assurance level, 1 event will be out of specification. That's not bad at all. But of course if you are the one patient with that one failed device... well sucks to be you.
Quality in everyday life, is how you define it. I usually operate around 20-50% failure rate, depending on the subject or event. That's acceptable to me. I start to worry when I have a 99.9% failure rate, especially when it comes to publishing my writing. Ah, but then you only need one big break... you gotta play to win, so to speak.
For further reading on what is Quality please see "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance".... apparently it was rejected over 450 times....
Anyway, my Re-Invention Process is out of control and out of spec. What do I intend to do about it? Do the best I can to get it back on line. There are other factors that I didn't consider and other players now want a piece of me (not paranoid really). Life happens. I've built enough padding into the process to allow for the major deviations. Things change. I ain't gonna get my panties in a wad. :-)
Now that's a pretty picture. Don't want to leave you with just that image.
It's a special talent to be able to critically think, problem solve, and troubleshoot. It's management on the fly. The best managers are ones who seem to solve a problem with a "win-win" solution at least 70-90% of the time, without letting anyone see them sweat. At the end of the day, you gotta live with yourself (and hopefully like yourself), be able sleep at night with your process control definitions and decisions. You gotta know what you want, when you want it, and at what conditions. You gotta have negotiables, and non-negotiables. You gotta have a good attitude about life, your work, and your processes -- whether mental, financial, physical, written down or in your head -- and realize you are in the greatest process of all -- the Learning Process. You can't stop that one!
I just do what has to be done within the constraints of the problem. It's not a fixed process or anything in my mind that I do systematically. I know scientists who are painfully methodological, and can't see outside the box they've created for themselves. Sometimes you just can't remove all other variables (or keep them constant) and just vary the test variable. Sometimes you just don't know all the variables. How on earth can such a painful approach be cost-effective or realistic? But perhaps there's something to my skills, something I should consider as special, because there are so many books out there selling "total quality management" and "continuous improvement" process to improve one's products, services, and management techniques.
Now after a few days of considering a specific problem, and trying to find a written "bona fide" process that fits the description of how I solved it, I realized I might be a maverick (or a mad engineer). Perhaps it's out there, I just haven't found it yet.
I seem to have an innate knack of process definition and control, and can see when a system is out of order and fix it. I never thought of it as a process, but perhaps it is. A process then, is something that is more or less repeatable under similar circumstances, given variables X, Y, Z, input the process will output A, B, and C. (desired output(s), undesired outputs -- i.e. impurities and waste)). Ok, this is chemical engineering at its best. Of course A, B, and C have an optimal yield and each level has its costs. And getting rid of waste has its costs. Defining the process and defining when the process is out of specification (i.e. poor quality) is a business necessity and may not apply to simple challenges or "troubleshooting", such as those one may have around the house or in re-engineering/re-invention work.
I may not be as disciplined as a servo-mechanism or computer control system, but I know my systems and what it can measure and what it can not, what it can do and what it can't, what I can change, and what I can not, and how each one of the possible changes / measurements may or may affect the process output. I guess at the moment though, you could say that the "process of re-invention" is out of specification and some control (i.e. discipline) needs to be put on it so it comes back to its intended output.
Ah, then we have to come back to the philosophical side: What is Quality anyway? It's only how you define it in your process. Can you really measure 100% accuracy? No. Because it doesn't exist. Any statistician or mathematician worth his weight will tell you that. You can only ASSURE something with a certain probability is 'error-free' or within specification to a point. Say 10^(-6) assurance, that's 0.000001, I think, chance in 100 events. Say you have 10 million possible events: then with the above assurance level, 1 event will be out of specification. That's not bad at all. But of course if you are the one patient with that one failed device... well sucks to be you.
Quality in everyday life, is how you define it. I usually operate around 20-50% failure rate, depending on the subject or event. That's acceptable to me. I start to worry when I have a 99.9% failure rate, especially when it comes to publishing my writing. Ah, but then you only need one big break... you gotta play to win, so to speak.
For further reading on what is Quality please see "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance".... apparently it was rejected over 450 times....
Anyway, my Re-Invention Process is out of control and out of spec. What do I intend to do about it? Do the best I can to get it back on line. There are other factors that I didn't consider and other players now want a piece of me (not paranoid really). Life happens. I've built enough padding into the process to allow for the major deviations. Things change. I ain't gonna get my panties in a wad. :-)
Now that's a pretty picture. Don't want to leave you with just that image.
It's a special talent to be able to critically think, problem solve, and troubleshoot. It's management on the fly. The best managers are ones who seem to solve a problem with a "win-win" solution at least 70-90% of the time, without letting anyone see them sweat. At the end of the day, you gotta live with yourself (and hopefully like yourself), be able sleep at night with your process control definitions and decisions. You gotta know what you want, when you want it, and at what conditions. You gotta have negotiables, and non-negotiables. You gotta have a good attitude about life, your work, and your processes -- whether mental, financial, physical, written down or in your head -- and realize you are in the greatest process of all -- the Learning Process. You can't stop that one!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Changing Gears
I have forgotten how difficult it is to change gears when working on multiple projects simultaneously. The shift in thought seems enormous and sometimes overwhelming.
It seems worse when your projects are starting pretty much from scratch and you have to divide your time between them. Time is a limited resource. Priorities must be made. We have choices everyday, which ideally should align with our core values.
As a strong proponent of individualism and freedom of choice with profound understanding of the consequences of actions, I have a fun time juggling my priorities. It all can be boiled down to the pursuit of happiness, of finding and completing fulfilling work and tasks (not just doing chores), or just having the Snoopy-like feeling at the end of each day "It was a good day, I did every thing right, in my opinion." So I take my to-do lists in stride. If I can say that at the end of the day, the closer I am to fine.
Trade-offs are inevitable, aren't they? One can choose to do one task, in negligence of others, and of course, pay the price later. What happens when things are out of your control? External decisions, accidents, and learning about rules that you had no participation in creating, affect your own choices. Flexibility and adaptability, and hence the need to change gears, are required coping strategies in the ultimate struggle of getting things done, or getting what you want out of life. Long-term thinking and alignment with your core values feel better than short-term thinking and "selling out", in my opinion. It seems every time we are faced with a choice, it really should not be so agonizing if we stay true to ourselves.
Where (a specific place I mean) do I often change gears? Are there specific triggers? Does my anxiety go up or down? How can I control how I feel about where, when, how, and why I change gears? What is my motivations and how can I reduce anxiety or fear as a negative motivator? This is interesting pre-work, requiring "tough love".
I leave you today with some lyrics, to give you a sense of where I am today, it's the best I can do for now (red added for emphasis):
"Well I got thrown out of work on the Kokomo
Don't ask me what I'm doing, I don't know
I hope he wasn't joking when he wrote me that letter
Things can't get any worse, they got to get better
Well I'm a little down under, but I'm feeling O.K.
I got a little lost along the way
I'm just around the corner to the light of day
Just around the corner to the light of day"
- Bruce Springsteen, Light of Day
It seems worse when your projects are starting pretty much from scratch and you have to divide your time between them. Time is a limited resource. Priorities must be made. We have choices everyday, which ideally should align with our core values.
As a strong proponent of individualism and freedom of choice with profound understanding of the consequences of actions, I have a fun time juggling my priorities. It all can be boiled down to the pursuit of happiness, of finding and completing fulfilling work and tasks (not just doing chores), or just having the Snoopy-like feeling at the end of each day "It was a good day, I did every thing right, in my opinion." So I take my to-do lists in stride. If I can say that at the end of the day, the closer I am to fine.
Trade-offs are inevitable, aren't they? One can choose to do one task, in negligence of others, and of course, pay the price later. What happens when things are out of your control? External decisions, accidents, and learning about rules that you had no participation in creating, affect your own choices. Flexibility and adaptability, and hence the need to change gears, are required coping strategies in the ultimate struggle of getting things done, or getting what you want out of life. Long-term thinking and alignment with your core values feel better than short-term thinking and "selling out", in my opinion. It seems every time we are faced with a choice, it really should not be so agonizing if we stay true to ourselves.
Where (a specific place I mean) do I often change gears? Are there specific triggers? Does my anxiety go up or down? How can I control how I feel about where, when, how, and why I change gears? What is my motivations and how can I reduce anxiety or fear as a negative motivator? This is interesting pre-work, requiring "tough love".
I leave you today with some lyrics, to give you a sense of where I am today, it's the best I can do for now (red added for emphasis):
"Well I got thrown out of work on the Kokomo
Don't ask me what I'm doing, I don't know
I hope he wasn't joking when he wrote me that letter
Things can't get any worse, they got to get better
Well I'm a little down under, but I'm feeling O.K.
I got a little lost along the way
I'm just around the corner to the light of day
Just around the corner to the light of day"
- Bruce Springsteen, Light of Day
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