Best-laid plans...

Of Mice and Men. (John Steinbeck). Lenny and George. Why did we care about these two misshapen tools? Because they were poor? Their funny way of talking? Because they had nobody and simply had to look out for each other? Their loneliness? Dreams are great, but to have this constant danger and dagger along side, definitely didn’t do George no good. But it was out of love. Love of his friend more than love of his dream. So we can only console with George, because that was the way it was always going to end up. Lenny’s life or George’s. I think George knew that at the beginning.

Well, yes, my plans ‘Gang aft agley’ -- go often askew, according to Robert Burns. But to look at the present, be now and around in awareness, instead of this silly backward eye -- that is the blessing of the mouse. Man is always fearing and guessing. That ain’t no fun!

Am I having fun then in my present? Yeah I work hard but fun?? What would make this more fun? New interesting music? New words new habits? New characters? Last week I managed to avoid the news, so I didn’t make much of the current events. Me thinks that “real world journalism” isn’t for me. I like features and themes. I like science-y things that need some thought into them, not necessarily fast reporting. I am always looking for this thread that weaves in and out like on the Giant Loom of my life.

This week I am supposed to focus on characters. I like Doctor Who. So go with it. A clock stoppage -- giant loom story with Doctor Who pieces. OK. Idea! Go! Stay with it!

Is this really working for me?

Last week (7):
I struggled. Really struggled. Loss of sleep, loss of time. But should a struggle mean I should give up, pack it in, quit? If I don't meet my weekly goals, should I just say stop? No. I just have to re-re-re-re double my efforts. Figure out how to wake up earlier, if need be.

Sometimes I wonder what my priorities are, and why I can’t manage to sail right through my apparently SMART goals. Am I too scared or concerned about that ONE thing that I won’t make all the others goal setting tasks move on? That seems silly doesn’t it?

This is my GREAT GOAL and I really want it, yes, yes, yes! I think I am very blessed and gifted, it’s just hiding under mounds and mounds of dirt and disuse. It will take a lot of time and effort to get to it, uncover it. I have to accept that there are no shortcuts. However, there is a diamond in this rough, I know it, I have got to hold on to this belief.

Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on.

This week (8):
Story Focus!! Yeay!! I’m going to work on a story I dropped off some years ago, but I’d like to know the end of… so, characters and plot here I come… am excited to have some energy for this now. It’s a “long-distance” focus. Jog/walk sort of, the base is there, just need to round it out and complete.

Next week (9):
Dialogue work. Most of the time, I write monologues or essays. That’s fine and dandy, but in the real world, action is needed and is best conveyed by conversation. This is balancing passages with dialogue, working on saying things and moving the plot forward.

Balance is the key – one can have a verbal story (it’s called playwriting or script writing) but action is happening i.e. you have to give the actors some direction what to do. Interestingly, since you can’t “see” feelings, the actors are interpreting what the writers have provided. This should help also improve a more prose-like reading, where you are leading the reader to interpret or “see” what the character is thinking or feeling. Oooo, I wish almost I was doing this, this week!!

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So, even if “this”-- re-invention -- isn’t working perfectly for me, it is working… somehow and that’s all that matters. Perfection, whatever does that mean??