Autumn and my life cycle

Here it is: my happy poem, "An Ode to Autumn". Published in a community newsletter, slightly anonymized, but who cares. It's a start.

This poem chronicles a bit my experience in Switzerland over the last 9 years. I am getting a bit nostalgic as I approach my 10th anniversary in March 2013. Here's my (nearly) line-by-line breakdown:

• dusts, heroes of summer: think of "The Rising" Bruce Springsteen
• born: yes I mean literally. Some of the best people I know are born between Sept 21 and December 21, typical autumn in the Northern Hemisphere
• boys shooting: this refers to the autumnal festival called Knabbenschiessen, loosely translated as "boys shooting" in Zürich, where I lived for 5 years. The translation is quite funny. Recently though, a young Swiss girl has entered the competition and been a great success.
• Öpfelkiechli or (Öpfel Küchli): Swiss-German dialect for these lovely deep-fried battered apple rings at the Basel Autumn Fair, or Herbstmesse, coming soon end of October. Mmmm. There's a very specific stand, and a very specific lady who makes these. I won't eat any other!
• The bells of Switzerland: there are a lot. Not just church bells. Cow and sheep (and other mountain animals) bells, sleigh bells, door bells... I love them all. Saturday evening they ring for 10 minutes. Really. OK, church bells only.
• Been listening to a lot of R.E.M. lately. Three words from the album, Green (1988). Song: "You Are The Everything". Find it, buy it. Love it!

• OK, we didn't get married in Autumn, but we did get engaged. Friends of ours got married in Autumn. 
• I guess the ol' October 1st heating rule is quite old. Must also be a Zürich thing.
• Yeah, the Dragon / drago in Italian / Draco. Read what you will into that.
• There used to be a branch of the Swiss army that wore yellow berets.
• Yeah, there's always the end of year rush to get things done, not only in Switzerland, but everywhere. Post-its are like leaves...
• Odd use of winter as a "dénouement" is a bit circular ;)

I'm making my first recipe of pumpkin-apple strudel later on today. A variation of Jamie Oliver's Pumpkin Strudel but better. ;) Can't wait!!!

at 40 weeks

This week’s plan is to work up to 1,000 words per day again. Expanding my vocab is a good idea too -- cue one speaker who uses too much 'really'...

Long long ago, in a galaxy far far away…. well, week 2 to be exact… I was doing this. So, I am only 9 months behind! Like a baby that didn’t know it was due. Ha ha ha.

OK, 9 months from now… there will be more… progress?!? I can only shoot for this, as I haven’t done my goal-setting yet. But I have some outstanding dangling items from last year that are relatively easy to do/get back into, so I will start with those goals. Then I am setting myself up for success. I like the idea of that.

So, am I fit enough to do Nanowrimo this year? Right now, it sure does not seem like it. I really want to do it this year, as so far, the whole month is already booked for 80% work (paid!) with no major travel. I think I have to start with a previous idea. I really want to work on my ‘Ravens’ but we shall see. I have to decide really by 3 November in order to have the thing work out well and not feel discouraged by the lack of progress. Perhaps this month’s practice gearing up again will put me in a good routine, that I will be more awake enough and have stretched my waking hours so that they are more creatively inclined.

October is always tough because of the daylight savings time issue. The ancient biology runes (genes) says it should be one hour behind and I should still be in bed. So, we got this cool natural light waking up lamp, that functions as an alarm clock. It also makes little birds song noises. There’s wind noise, and I think something else, or the radio. The radio would be more random I think, and so you don’t fall back asleep to the nice little birdie sounds. Although we had it quite low this morning, the cats were quite interested in the bird tweeting away in the lamp…

OK, until next week -- when we see whether we’ve made 1,000 words per day (remember, on average: perhaps on blog Tuesday, I go way over and some other days I barely can reach 75% of the goal) -- and I’ve started back on the easy goals that were cut out long ago. Looking ahead, it is really a gearing up… character developments and getting up to 2,000 words per day. Eeek!

Yes, when motivation is low, it seems like I want to slow down instead of gear up… but I have to find the motivation again… oh yes, visualize and dream. Dream of a better world. Gear up!!

Hope Springs Eternal

Although winter is slowly being shaken off by the March lion, I will miss it. Winter has its own mood, full of solitude, quiet and reflection. Today has been such a mixed bag of a day, and I feel like inviting winter in my heart again. The cold rain calms me, instead of stinging me. The low bloated grey clouds blanket me and remind me to stay indoors where it is warm and I have all the things I need to stay comfortable and happy. The wind, whistling its way around my balcony, tipping my plants and singing a foul sound like a melancholy cat, is the only music. In my solitude, I can heal.

Spring will come again and I am confident in my new paths. I need these few last days of winter though, to gather my energies to plant and sew and dig deep into the earth. Once rested, the hope and promise of spring will be a welcome sight, I will have let go of all the bullies and naysayers of winters past. Let it go, let it all go away. I will thrive in generating contacts and networking, a relief from the solitude of today. Of course, winter will not go away entirely in April, as I live in a "tempest" zone, in a valley bordered by river on one side and mountains on another. I like the ever changing feeling of spring in this land, and would choose no other place other than a tempest in spring. It makes the hope I feel stronger, when things around me change so oddly and ambiguously. Is it spring or is it winter, or have we dumped straight into summer?

I have learned optimism in the past weeks, due to my illness. This is the well from which I will build my legacy. It will be out of love, as from winter to spring, there is so much love in the air, one becomes two, and two becomes three. The legacy will have a theme, but be fluid like the river, yet grounded like the mountains. I will write more on this legacy at another time.

I am so happy to have recovered so quickly from the illness of Bell's Palsy. Now I still have to recover from the years and years of emotional abuse at work and in my personal life. With my new strength and the love I have found, the healing process will take time, but I believe it will not be so painful, and I will thrive like a beautiful April daffodil, re-potted from the nursery.