Hello World.
Again! Back from the dead, re-processed. No zombies this time round, eh?
Test, test and re-test. All processes need to be tested. To see if they are rigorous enough to handle all the crap that's out there, the impurities and what not. One has to stay involved, draw inspiration from the testing and get creative to solve the issue to improve the process. It's an never ending story. One needs strength also, not to just give up and scrap the whole thing and try to start anew again, although I am sure there are several Lonza chemical engineers who wished they could do just that. It's a commitment long-haul kind of thing, that at least the first principles are there, and the process just needs to be tweaked and honed based on the results of the tests.
Involvement. Commitment. Drive. Ambition. These things sometimes I find I am lacking, in my work life and in my personal life. I admire those who have it, I am proud of myself when I see it in me, but sometimes I can't be bothered. I'd rather just relax and goof off, not get involved, not commit, not set goals, not do it. I like being distracted for some reason, procrastination, even though deep inside I know that it is vital to my overall well-being and success that I have some level of involvement in things that are important to me and not let the world just wash over with what ever it wants to send me. How I handle Plan B? Involvement. Commitment. Maybe not so much ambition, but definitely drive. Lemons? Lemonade, and all that.
The trials that I've been going through lately have sorely tested my commitment and level of involvement to a fairly tedious and boring, but well paid (!) project. I've always said I don't care about the money, I just need something to be interesting and challenging and well, this project is neither. It's hard mostly because it is so unglamorous and uninteresting, but there is the problem I might not know exactly what I am doing. There are things I consider glamorous and interesting, but aren't so well paying... the other projects I have are medium level, interesting but not exactly glamorous either, but it's not hard for me because I know how.
Oh this is boring you isn't it?? What about my writing you say? what happened to the plan? the book? the stories? where are they? what's happening? the trials have sapped a lot of energy from me. I need to re-charge and get rid of these energy wasters, while I try to get back involved in my stuff: my writing, my commitment, my drive, my ambition inside of me. Even if I never make it big, at least I want to know I've tried hard hard hard, as hard as I've tried anything else before.
That's the kind of commitment I'm talking about. That's when I'll know I've fully re-invented myself.
Stay the course. Believe. The 3 P's. Patience. Perseverance. Persistence.
