They say when you enjoy what you do, you are hardly "working", that is, there is no where you would rather be than doing what you enjoy. But making what you enjoy into an endeavor that will feed you and put clothes on your back is something else and could be construed as "working hard". Although it is nice to have a safety net in practice, when you are really out there doing what you do best, you have to do it (perform or work) with out the safety net, walk the wire in front of hundreds of people hoping you succeed, deathly afraid for you if you fall. You only fall/fail Fatally ONCE. :-) Everything else you can pick up the pieces and try again and/or learn from the failure.
I still have my safety net on, and so I am practicing. In a way I am hiding a bit too with my safety net. I admit that. But perhaps, in some subconscious or unconscious manner, I am still picking up pieces and learning from my earlier failures and falls. Yes, that is why I haven't really established my routines. I am still learning them. I may have a big wig degree and know a lot about science and things, but I haven't really fully grasped or learned how to be me and a habitually creative writer. I am glad I am failing actually, because then the success will be that much sweeter. I am not going to give up on myself and the life I am supposed to lead!
