Although winter is slowly being shaken off by the March lion, I will miss it. Winter has its own mood, full of solitude, quiet and reflection. Today has been such a mixed bag of a day, and I feel like inviting winter in my heart again. The cold rain calms me, instead of stinging me. The low bloated grey clouds blanket me and remind me to stay indoors where it is warm and I have all the things I need to stay comfortable and happy. The wind, whistling its way around my balcony, tipping my plants and singing a foul sound like a melancholy cat, is the only music. In my solitude, I can heal.
Spring will come again and I am confident in my new paths. I need these few last days of winter though, to gather my energies to plant and sew and dig deep into the earth. Once rested, the hope and promise of spring will be a welcome sight, I will have let go of all the bullies and naysayers of winters past. Let it go, let it all go away. I will thrive in generating contacts and networking, a relief from the solitude of today. Of course, winter will not go away entirely in April, as I live in a "tempest" zone, in a valley bordered by river on one side and mountains on another. I like the ever changing feeling of spring in this land, and would choose no other place other than a tempest in spring. It makes the hope I feel stronger, when things around me change so oddly and ambiguously. Is it spring or is it winter, or have we dumped straight into summer?
I have learned optimism in the past weeks, due to my illness. This is the well from which I will build my legacy. It will be out of love, as from winter to spring, there is so much love in the air, one becomes two, and two becomes three. The legacy will have a theme, but be fluid like the river, yet grounded like the mountains. I will write more on this legacy at another time.
I am so happy to have recovered so quickly from the illness of Bell's Palsy. Now I still have to recover from the years and years of emotional abuse at work and in my personal life. With my new strength and the love I have found, the healing process will take time, but I believe it will not be so painful, and I will thrive like a beautiful April daffodil, re-potted from the nursery.
