I must remember: everything happens for a reason.
Yet, life is full of contradictions. Can I be so arrogant and self-important, to believe that the universe is actually looking at me? After the millennia it has to take care of? All that complicated physics? I am just a tiny speck of sand in the Sahara.
Nevertheless, in my 90-odd years of life on this planet, all I want to do is to make a difference. Even if it is minuscule a drop in a vast ocean. Everyone dies baby that's a fact: "it is our mortality that defines us".
I don't want to live forever, I just want my 1%.
Some days, I do feel like I've achieved that: when I've gotten through to a colleague to be more open-minded, when I've shared something with my partner that I've never shared to anyone else in the world, when I've overcome some big hurdle in my life and accepted the love and forgiveness that life provides. But obviously, I'm not done yet.
The dead are still here with us - I see them in pictures, in town, and in my daily chores. I feel them in my heart, in my soul. I see them in the faces of my family and friends. I read or hear them in my books, my pets, my music. We are just exchanging carbon atoms.
I am an irrational, illogical human being. I want to say on my death bed: "well, that was fun". I want to enjoy every moment and keep time as my faithful companion.
Geronimo! Allons-y! Kitty!
