Planning and weddings. Wedding planning. It’s a big event. A static one you might say, one that doesn’t really lend itself to process improvement because, usually, one thinks that they’ll only get married once.
But perhaps it’s a way to re-invent the relationship. Older couples that have been married 40+ years, sometimes like to renew their vows for the fun of it, for the fun of planning and having a party in front of people, or just for each other. Renewal is a type of re-invention.
All relationships, young and old, are subject to becoming routine. I am not knocking routine, routine is fantastic because – heck – we need process control before we can have process improvement! Routine, steadiness, and discipline are wonderful words and most relationships have some degrees of them in order to survive. Sometimes, not always, a re-invention is needed though. A wedding party or vow renewal are extreme ways, can we think of other more subtle but effective ways? New hobbies together, new rules both can agree to (house, money, travel, etc.). Of course both parties have got to agree and want to change the process, that’s the sticky bit isn’t it? That’s conflict management, a whole other ball game.
Relationships are also like writing and story-telling and vice versa. Maybe the old stories are just not as compelling anymore. Perhaps new breath and life can be brought in with the new stories. Maybe the styles / cultures can be first mixed, like paint to create a new color, a new time line of story, soft and subtle still, no ragged edges. The ‘old’ writing process is / has been good, but something lacked, and it couldn’t be sustained through the hard times (e.g. 60+ hours / work weeks)… new music, new life, same story but ever so slightly improved in its telling a hue, a tinge, maybe just a note or half octave off, of something else I am needing to get the story(ies) out. Sometimes you don’t want to know the end of the story, you have to experience it yourself.
Perhaps within all of this is a plan. To still take it as it comes, but be prepared – do the necessary things to keep it sustainable and steady. All I can do is modify how I react, not what might (or might not) externally happens to me. Remain calm in the face of the unknown, stay steady on, even when I am doubting what I am sure of.
