Some months ago, I wanted to come back to the thought that "No man is a failure who has Friends." I am happy to come back to the thought now, as for me I realize, it means that's it is impossible to signify nothing when one has friends.
Dark clouds rise sometimes on my head, and sometimes I feel even with all that I’ve done and achieved (I still can’t type “I” before “E” except after “C” thank goodness for Word’s Auto Correct feature), that I am a failure. Why? It’s just my sick head and background -- the feeling I will never be good enough unless I get my “dream” right. George didn’t have his dream in the end, but he was a good man no matter what. When the bank did him wrong, sure he panicked, who wouldn’t?
George struggled --- as why was he struggling with this dream when he could have potentially “so much more” if it wasn’t for that silly “Building & Loan”? It’s what his father wanted, he had a responsibility to his father, brother and to the good people of Townsville to stand up to Mr. Potter. It was George’s good nature though that won him friends, aside from his character as a lender. He never did get to take that trip around the world, but all of his friends loved him. He didn’t have to feel like a failure, ever. But it took the realization to lose it all (“nothing left to lose” kind of freedom), that his loss of the so-called dream won him something much more worthwhile -- the value of friendship, trust and goodness in this world.
My bank yesterday seemingly misplaced $500 of mine. I was quite upset with the way I was treated too. Of course it wasn’t the end of the world, and I was no where near to being “ruined” like George, but it made my mind race. Why me?? I forgot my friends temporarily and was angry. I wanted to sue the bank I wanted to yell at the manager. Really! I wanted some retribution, I wanted blood!
I also thought why am I struggling with that amount of money now, working on a dream? My dreams felt shaky, and I wondered if I really was happy. I brooded, I festered like an open wound. My cats and partner suffered.
Good things do happen, and the bank found my money and made the deposit this morning. All’s well that ends well? I don’t know -- somehow if the anguish wasn’t there I think that would have been the better outcome. How do I get rid of the anguish, anger and pain?? Why is it such an inconsequential event can set me off?
Would George forget his anguish easily, how close he was to financial ruin and tarnished reputation of responsibility? Probably, I think he would. He was definitely blessed with seeing a gift that he really has a wonderful life. So, that’s my goal -- to wrap my friends around me, and forget the heartache. No regrets when you have friends surrounding you, encouraging you and wishing you to find what is best for you, no matter what the cost. For that I am truly happy and thankful and grateful, and I am excited to stick with my dreams and my sense of good character and cheer. No matter what, I have to try to remember “it’s a wonderful life". Hopefully, my friends will remember who I am even when I don't or too preoccupied with inconsequential things -- help me see the forest!! Let bygones be bygones!!
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