Hello 2009 ! Hello dear Readers!
I have to confess that I don't feel like it is a new year for me yet, even though I have written my first "new" date yesterday using 09 and 10 to denote a year's expiration from yesterday.
Why hasn't new year come for me? I think it's mostly because I didn't properly celebrate it this year. We were quite ill with flu on Dec 31st, and stayed in most of last week. We didn't even really have a celebratory dinner or think to do anything special, like renewing celebrations, rejuvenations or writing out those pesky New Year's Resolutions. No fireworks, no champagne, no change in scenery. Just another day.
Another reason is that I don't think I even made any Resolutions this year, other than the ones I've consciously made and started last year with this Process blog. So although this is a fresh week of work after a long holiday, it doesn't seem like 2009 to me. I feel a deeper disconnect than normal, if you will.
Well, I'll start 2009 for real this morning by making a Resolution then, since I can't exactly go out and celebrate now that I feel healthy again.
I decided that I am going to believe people -- yeah I am talking about YOU man -- face value, even when there's contradiction later (there's always contradiction in the end, life is full of 'em, hell even I contradict myself). I am not gonna second-guess people's motives and look for conspiracies and double meaning anymore in the people I care about.
When someone says they just want to make conversation, well that's all it is, and I shouldn't be paranoid about talking about things unless they are too personal. Sometimes though, I am just not interested and I don't want to make conversation. Oh well, I have to stand up for myself and reduce the amount of time I have in such uncomfortable situations. Or get comfortable? Yes, that's an option! It's just words anyway, no one is really listening, and if they were they would forget it 10 minutes later anyway. So I have nothing to worry about.
As for all the people I don't care about (sad to say there are a few of those) and of course strangers that I have no knowledge about whatsoever, I am just gonna try to wish them all the best whether I believe them or not. Whatever! Positive energy and all that. I don't care if it is naivete or Pollyanna. I'd rather be happy and thankful for all that I do have, than sad and resentful for all that I don't have.
Now that's a tall order Resolution. Eeeek!
