It truly is a wonderful life... the writing life... sure some days setbacks are all you get, struggling to write the next word, to come up with the next idea, editing, polishing, looking forward for all those rejection slips coming back... maybe some with a glint of keep going... but mostly its all you. This is my job, and it suits me right.
It's truly wonderful that I still have the power within me to change my life to change my vision. To actually feel good about it and go confidently into this world. Everything will work out and will come into place. This power, this inner strength if you will, is the single most greatest thing, the most valuable thing, that keeps one alive and healthy. Not a change in food, sleep, or exercise alone can do that. Inner strength. The power to change I contend has to come first and be the biggest proponent that drives all other change. Bottom-Up Management.
It's snowing here. I remember one bleak grey morning, not so long ago last March, when I started writing here. I remember feeling blessed for the snow, to be able to see it and enjoy it in the warmth of my apartment. The flakes may not be as fluffy and big, but they are creating a white blanket on the roof below outside my window, the hinterhaus of my neighbor's painting studio. I watched my cats watch the snow then, and I watch them again now. It's amazing, wonderful snow.
Sometimes I struggle to find something to write about. But it is really all around me and in me. I just have to start writing and its like a river that keeps flowing. The strength I need most days is to JUST START. Audacity!
Sometimes with the struggle comes fear. I know this now, and finally at last I can do something about it. START. The initial process of re-inventing myself is over. I've done it, I've succeeded. I found the inner strength, in my thoughts, in my prayers which create my success -- now I have to tap this stream of strength each day and START.
My START UP ROUTINE:
6.30 am AWAKE! Refreshed! Think what a great day! Energize!
7:15 am Yoga, Muscles, Aerobics, Balance physical work
8:00 am Shower and Energize again, mental work, warm up hands and ready set, and...
9:00 am START writing -- up to 2000 words per day...
My Maintenance ROUTINE:
12.30 Energize, tank up positive thoughts!
13.30 Business work
16.00 Small Re-energize, go for a walk?
17.00 Continue writing / work
My Shutdown ROUTINE:
19.30 lightly energize
20.30 wind-down: reading, relaxing, nothing too exciting, no computer work
10.30 Shutdown and think "what a good day! I did everything right! In my opinion!"
Much like a computer process (of course I am not a robot!). But there's lots of flexibility built into the process. One of the wonderful things about being a freelancer is to let go and allow your self to be flexible. The bigger the company is, the more drowned in processes and rules and hierarchy it is, and there is no creativity or flexibility or allowance for "out of process" custom work. The START UP, MAINTENANCE AND SHUTDOWN procedures are highly regulated, controlled and checked by the process engineers every morning, shift change, and night... (24 hour process control! Oh love I miss that!! NOT!).
But if I think of my mind and my body and my life as 24-hr Process Control, it's easier for me somehow as some of my inner strength is in that fundamental engineering knowledge. Weird, eh? Like the snow today, I feel like I have come full circle.
One day at a time. That's all the process engineer can do, is look at the system and process, one day at a time. Doing the best that he/she can with what they've got to work with. Whether or not the process actually produces the desired outputs in specification, well, for the moment, that is not his/her problem....The quality assurance engineer takes over.... whether the desired outputs are marketable or sale-able, someone else's job too... Other engineer's hats... other days... they all do the best they can with what they have at the end of the day... so all the other minutiae don't matter. In my opinion.
