Re-invention, re-engineering, re-hashing, re- whatever you want to call it: it's nerve-racking.
I sometimes feel guilty, overwhelmed, questioning. What is the right thing for me? Am I really exactly where I am supposed to be?
Am I really willing to trust the universe, fate, Wyrd, or whatever it is that pulled me in this direction in the first place? Why did I have to spend all that time learning something I may never use again? Transferable skills, they tell me. Think transferable skills. It's all about your attitude. Stay focused, stay excited. Stay hungry, stay alive.
It's hard, it's damn hard. Friends say I shouldn't feel guilty for leaving the profession, for leaving science, especially if I am not as interested in it as I once was. I like some things but not to get my hands dirty so to speak. Is that cowardice or what?
But I love my life now. I love learning about literature and art and fiction. I love the freedom the creativity the energy that comes after I've tried and poured out my heart onto my computer keyboard. (not as romantic these days is it? Quill and parchment would be so much more elegant...) I just have to kill this inner critic of mine, or at least lock it up in the dungeon for a while. No one will notice. It's not like its a real person anyway.
